The Influence of Muslim Fathers on Daughters

As children, they experience many events and interactions with different people. All those individuals, events, and experiences play an integral role in a child’s emotional and social development. However, one primary factor is the relationship a child experiences with his parents. It holds immense importance in a child’s life and builds some crucial aspects of his social and emotional development.

The history of Islam witnessed several examples of significant father-daughter relationships that became examples for all future generations. This blog discusses the influence of Muslim fathers on daughters, how important it is to cherish your daughters, and how you can develop a positive father-daughter relationship.

The Influence of Muslim Fathers on Daughters

Children are one of the greatest blessings from Allah (SWT) to humankind; similarly, parents hold a vital role in a child’s life. The kind of bond you develop with your child since birth affects their personality development. The father-daughter relationship is one of the most beautiful, purest, and compassionate bonds. There is no denying that a mother plays a crucial part in a child’s life from birth to adolescence. However, having a positive and healthy father-daughter relationship is also a primary factor in shaping a girl’s personality.

« The father is the middle of the gates of Paradise, so keep to this gate or lose it. » [Al-Tirmizi]

How do you develop a positive father-daughter relationship?

Modern psychology proves that fathers significantly impact a daughter’s life, and the same goes for a daughter. He is the first man a girl interacts with after coming into this world, and so he becomes a role model and inspiration for the girl. Fathers who maintain healthy, positive, and kind behavior with their daughters raise them into confident, independent, and kind human beings. It is because a father’s personality acts as a shelter, a friend, and someone who understands his daughter’s wishes even before she expresses them.

Moreover, Allah (SWT) blesses us with different blood relations throughout our lifetime; a daughter learns kindness, integrity, and discipline from her father. Hence being a father, you should play an active part in your daughter’s life. Spend quality time with them, play with them when they are small, go on an outing, and enjoy those little moments. Some of the ways that can help you develop a positive father-daughter relationship are:

Be a role model to your daughter.

Your daughter has looked up to you as an inspiring personality since birth. The way you treat her, the way you love and respect her, she would imitate. Looking around history, we find an excellent father-daughter relationship between the Beloved Messenger of Allah (PBUH) and his daughter Sayeda Fatima. Hazrat Aisha (RA) narrated that:

« I did not see anyone resembling the Messenger of Allah (SAWW) in speech than Fatimah. When she came to him, he stood up, welcomed her, kissed her, and made her sit in his place. She came to him during his illness, and he greeted and kissed her. »

(Adab Al-Mufrad)

She will always consider you her haven and expect you to be around during her happy and difficult moments. Hence, be a role model to her, and give them enough love, kindness, and respect that she would like her future husband to possess the same goodness. Be an example of a kind, generous, respectful, and just man so she could perceive an excellent definition of a man.

Exhibit love and respect through actions

As much as a mother’s love is vital in a child’s upbringing, a father’s moral and emotional support adds more confidence and self-esteem. Daughters learn different life realities through their fathers from an early age. They look up to them regarding how they exhibit love and their behavior toward other women, particularly their mothers.

As a father, you have the responsibility to personify what your daughter’s life partner would be. Your conduct with your life partner helps your daughters learn the true meaning of love, respect, and compassion. Your kind behavior and strong support towards your daughters set the foundation for a daughter’s relationship with her future husband as she grows up.

Daughters who have had a gentle and healthy relationship with their fathers grow up to be self-confident, resilient, and determined.

According to a narration from Hazrat Aisha (RA) that the Prophet (PBUH) said, « The believing man or woman upon whom there is the responsibility of daughters, and he or she discharges it well and treats them with affection, the daughters will become a means of freedom, for him or her, in the hereafter. »

Boost their confidence and self-esteem

You can be your daughter’s best guide and counselor at every stage of her life. Being a parent, learn to stand with your daughter when they have to make an important decision or when they are in trouble. Give them enough confidence and courage to dream big and chase their life goals with unshakeable courage and resilience. 

Daughters who receive a positive upbringing from their fathers lead a successful life because of their high self-esteem and assertiveness.

What does Islam Say about Daughters?

Islam is a religion of peace. It taught us to be practical Muslims and accomplished humans by improving our Akhlaaq and focusing more on our moral values. With the advent of Islam, people learned to respect their daughters instead of burying them alive as they used to do during jahiliyyah. The beloved Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) taught men not to disrespect their daughters as they are a source of rehmat and barakah in their lives.

Allah (SWT) says, « To Allah belongs the dominion of the heavens and the earth; He creates what He wills. He gives to whom He wills female [children], and He gives to whom He wills males. Or He makes them [both] males and females, and He renders whom He wills barren. Indeed, He is Knowing and Competent. » [Qur’an 49:50]

Abdullah ibn Abbas (may Allah be pleased with him) narrates that the Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) said:

« Whoever becomes the father of a girl, he should neither hurt her nor treat her with contempt nor show preference over her to his sons in kindness and affection. (Both boys and girls should be treated alike.) Allah will grant him Paradise for kind treatment towards the daughter. »

3 Ahadith about daughters

The Prophet (PBUH) said:

« If anyone has a female child and does not bury her alive, slight her, or prefer his male children to her, Allah will bring him into Paradise. »

The companion of Rasool Allah (PBUH) Jabir ibn Abdullah (may Allah be pleased with him) narrated that the Prophet (PBUH) said:

« Whoever has three daughters, and he accommodates them, shows mercy toward them, and supports them, Paradise is guaranteed for him. »

As reported by Uqbah ibn Aamir, the Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said:

« Whoever has three daughters and is patient towards them, feeds them, gives them to drink, and clothes them from his wealth; they will be a shield for him from the Fire on the Day of Resurrection. » [Al-Albani]

Exemplary Father-Daughter Relationship in Islam

The most exemplary and universal example of a father-daughter relationship in Islam is that of Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) and his beloved daughter, Syeda Fatimah (may Allah’s blessings be upon her). The Holy Prophet (PBUH) loved him more than anyone else, and similarly, Fatima (RA) loved, cared, and respected her father to the extent that he called him « Umm Abeeha » (Mother of a father). Nobody than Syeda Fatima (RA) earned this title.

The beloved Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said about his daughter,

« Fatima is part of me. Whatever pleases her, pleases me, and whatever angers her angers me. »

Lady Fatimah also loved her father and stood by her on every occasion. She took care of Rasool Allah (PBUH), comforted him during tough times, and supported and defended him when a challenging event occurred.

As Qur’an says, “Indeed in the Messenger of Allah you have a good example to follow for him who hopes in (the Meeting with) Allah and the Last Day.” [Al-Ahzab 33:21]

Hence in modern times, we have the universal example of Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) and Fatima (RA), that teach fathers and daughters how to align their relationship and be a source of contentment and success in this life and the life hereafter.