How should you develop social and emotional skills in Muslim kids?

‘Allah is one who created you from weakness, then made after weakness strength, then made after strength weakness and white hair. He creates, what He wills, and He is knowing, the competent.’ [Al Rum: 45]

Childhood is the best phase of human life. It’s the time when children develop social and emotional skills. Parents are responsible for their children’s emotional and physical well-being. They learn about their feelings and explore new avenues to learn what is in store for them. No wonder it’s a beautiful phase of life with bumps and kicks.

How should you develop social and emotional skills in Muslim kids in the modern era of digitization, fast-paced learning, and entertainment? We will explore this subject and find its best possible answer from an Islamic perspective.

Children learn basic ethics, skills, and mannerism from their homes, and parents play a significant role in this journey. However, many other factors depend on how a child’s social, physical, and emotional skills nurture with time.

How should you develop social and emotional skills in Muslim kids?

From the toddler phase, mood swings and tantrums are standard. Why do people call this phase « terrible two »! Probably, now you have got the answer. Kids in their early ages exhibit quick mood swings. Their emotions can be strong, but they do not last for long. All of us must have observed how a child, at one moment, is crying his lungs out. Whereas in the other instance, he is quietly playing with his favorite toy.

It is the stage when kids can be compassionate and like to avoid sharing. They might not quickly get along with other kids, but soon after a couple of years, your little one could be seen running, screaming, and playing with other kids outside as time passes.

What is Social and Emotional Development in Muslim Kids?

The first five years are crucial in a child’s growth and development among the four key aspects of development. Those areas consist of motor, communication, language, social and emotional, and cognitive.

Social and emotional development implies children’s understanding of themselves, their feelings, and their expectations during different interactions with others. This area of development involves:

• Establishing healthy and sustainable relationships
• Experiencing and exhibiting feelings
• Discovering and interacting with the surroundings

Methods to Support Social and Emotional Development

Emotional and social skills can be learned through interactions, relationships, and current social circumstances. Being a parent or in a guardian position, you can implement several methods to upskill your kid’s emotional and social development and boost his emotional and mental well-being. These methods included:

• Create Awareness
• Show the Skills
• Concentrate on Decision Making
• Show up

Let them Learn Social and Emotional Skills

Now the question is, how can you teach your kids how to interact and play with other kids? Social skills demand the proficiency to cooperate with others. It also implies being empathetic, expressive, and generous in our actions.

Luckily, there are several ways by which you can let your kids learn these crucial emotional and social skills.

Exhibit Proper Attitude

These children are great observers, and this skill helps them learn new things every day. Suppose your toddler observes you exhibiting a good attitude, expressing kindness and empathy being generous. In that case, he will eventually learn how to respond to unknown people. You can start exhibiting these behaviors from your home; try saying « please » and words like « sorry » and « thank you. » This way, you will teach your children the proper response as they interact with people other than family members.

Hold up Nice Behavior

Another positive aspect is showing appreciation when your kid behaves exceptionally well in social gatherings. Letting your child feel happy about themselves is crucial in building empathy and emotional skills. Set up an environment where children feel safe to share their feelings. They will start showing more thoughtfulness and a kind attitude.

Holding up teaches kids how and when to feel excellent about themselves. It also lets them realize why some responses are acceptable and praise-worthy.

Remember, our actions and responses significantly affect that of our children.

Teach Empathy

In a world full of violence and demanding challenges, parents must boost empathy and emotional intelligence among their children. Children’s upbringing starts from home; you can teach them to think about other people’s emotions. Begin this practice by involving your kids and asking them how they feel and what they are going through currently. “ How did that movie impact you?” “How did you feel when a peer broke your favorite toy?”

As kids learn how to express their feelings, you start inquiring about other people’s emotions. “How do you think Sam felt when you snatched the car she was playing with?” Their reactions to these inquiries help them realize how their actions can affect other people’s feelings.

Teach Cooperation

This skill adds excellent benefits to a child’s social and emotional development. Opening up ways for children to interact with peers significantly help them how to be relevant to other children. As a toddler, your kid might get annoyed while playing with other kids because not all kids understand how to share things or show empathy. However, with time and age, things improve, and they learn several problem-solving skills by playing and interacting with each other.

Remember to take things slower; you might experience numerous conflicts with other kids and siblings. However, children learn to interact and relate to other kids with age and experience.

Children’s Social and Emotional Development in Islamic Perspective

Being Muslims, everyone wishes to raise positive and pious kids who become a productive part of the family and society. As per Islamic teachings, Qur’an brings guidance for the bond between creatures and their Lord but also manages the human-to-human relationship. There is even a bond between creatures and their surroundings. Furthermore, children are Allah’s decree who must receive good education to become productive Muslims and humans.

Modern digital life demands that education is one of the integral foundations for a healthy civilization. How can Islam and the Muslim nations prosper if the youth does not possess positive social and emotional skills?

Therefore, it needs special attention from parents and teachers in educating children so that they continue to develop in social, technological, and religious terms (Mulyani, 2014). In the Qur’an, many teachings contain the principles of how a child can adequately socialize with both family and friends. 

Allah says in the Qur’an, Surah al-Baqarah verse 195:

« And infuse (your treasure) in the way of Allah, and do not drop (yourself) into destruction with your own hands, and do good. Indeed, Allah loves those who do good. »

Islam directs its followers to have an empathetic and compassionate behavior toward others. It is called social piety and requires a sound education. This is because a nation’s success and progress depend on the educational levels of its people. However, we can not ignore the numerous social disparities in daily life; one of them is bullying.

Imam Al-Ghazali argues: « Children are a mandate and responsibility of their parents; their pure soul is an expensive jewel that is modest and free from carvings and images. Children may accept every carving and tend to what is inclined to them.”

Many types of social behaviors that occur in early childhood depend on the principles set in infant age. Kids adopt several behavioral changes in social settings including generosity, competition, empathy, attachment, desire, etc. Whereas, non-social changes could be bullying, aggression, power hunger, or apathy. Parents can implement different methods to develop healthy social behaviors so that kids enjoy good socialization with their surroundings.

Quranic Teachings and Sunnah on Developing Social-emotional Skills

The Quranic verses and teachings from our beloved Holy Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) are a great asset that mainly focuses on developing social and emotional skills from an early age. Allah’s commandments and the universal guidance from His beloved Prophet (PBUH) are the eternal sources for all Muslim parents to help their kids enhance their social-emotional skills.

• The Qur’an says: « O mankind! We created you from a single (pair) of a male and a female, and made you into nations and tribes, that ye may know each other (not that ye may despise (each other). Verily the most honored of you in the sight of Allah is (he who is) the most righteous of you. And Allah has full knowledge and is well acquainted (with all things) » [Chapter 49, verse 13].
• « God has no mercy on one who has no mercy for others. » [Sahih Muslim, Hadith No. 4283].
• « None of you truly believes until he wishes for his brother what he wishes for himself. » [Sahih Muslim, Hadith No. 64].
• « Narrated Numan bin Bashir: Allah’s Messenger (PBUH) said, « The believers in their mutual kindness, compassion, and sympathy are just like one body. When one of the limbs is afflicted, the whole body responds to it with wakefulness and fever » [Hadith No. 224].
• “Verily! Allah will not change the good condition of a people as long as they do not change their state of goodness themselves by committing sins and by being ungrateful and disobedient to Allah.
• The Qur’an says: « Those who join together those things which Allah hath commanded to be joined hold their Lord in awe, and fear the terrible reckoning. » [Chapter 13, verse 21]

How can you boost children’s social-emotional development?

To boost your children’s social-emotional upbringing, it is vital that you start healthy discussions and engagement based on your child’s age. Some examples are as follows:

• Be kind and encouraging: hold their hand, comfort, and speak to your child.
• Encourage your child to learn how joyful it is to “give and take”. Do it by playing different games.
• Help your child while they learn and practice new skills and be there to offer hands-on support.
• Be there for your child while he/she learns these skills but don’t spoon-feed everything. Let them learn at their pace.