Five (5) Inspiring Attributes of a Muslim father

As a male parent, do you often feel that mothers take all the limelight in parenting; and the recognition and acknowledgment go to mothers alone? If your response is a yes, then we hear you. This article will discuss five (5) inspiring attributes of a Muslim father and how fathers can acquire them for personal development.

There are no two opinions that if a mother is the first institution for a child’s learning and development, then a father is the ultimate source of a child’s wellbeing. He acts as a powerful shield when a child needs care, support, and trust.

Our religion Islam being the most comprehensive guide for humanity, provided essential guidelines to walk on the path of parenthood as a dutiful and responsible father. The beloved Book of Allah SWT offers us a complete code to learn the benefits, virtues, and countless blessings of parenthood.

This article will be a fresh air for all new Muslim fathers and fathers-to-be and those already on this journey.

Five (5) Inspiring Attributes of a Muslim father

1. Kindness and Mercifulness

Kindness is a human trait that affects your personal growth, whether you are a parent or not. It is essential to treat your child with kindness. Your genuine acts of kindness, like listening to his needs, providing luxuries, and fulfilling his childish demands, will attract him.

Your child always looks for your attention and support, and kindness is the key that opens doors to love and affection. That little kid you are raising imitates your characteristics; hence a kind father raises kind children, and this cycle continues.

It is narrated from Lady Aisha that the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said,

« Verily, kindness is not found in anything except that it beautifies it, and it is not removed from anything except that it disgraces it. » [Sahih Muslim]

In another instance, The Holy Prophet (PBUH) clarified that the most faithful believer is the one who shows excellent conduct and kindness towards his loved ones.

« Indeed among the believers with the complete faith is the one who is the best in conduct and the most kind to his family. » [Sunan Al-Tirmizi]

2. Patience and forbearance

It is the most beneficial attribute you must acquire as a father or mother. Parenting needs patience, a lot of patience indeed. You need the patience to feed a child, nurture him, and see him grow. You will also need to practice patience while listening to him, teaching, or playing with him. Every child has different demands and learns at his pace; it’s on parents to understand their child’s needs and patiently respond to him.

Parenting requires time, focus, and attention. When you are patient, you will focus more on your child’s wants instead of reacting to his every little activity. This practice, in turn, will help your child learn patience from you and ultimately create a peaceful environment for good parenting.

Islam directs its followers to be patient regardless of life’s circumstances, being the most peaceful religion. Being patient helps you achieve many parenting milestones with ease and confidence because you will understand your child rather than blaming or reacting immediately.

3. Affection

Your child draws towards you for your love and affection. It implies you show you love him unconditionally with your actions and words. Affection could be holding your child’s hands, hugging, or kissing him out of love. Your body language plays a crucial role; children are good observers, and they judge our moods and expressions.

When you are a kind father, you are also affectionate and gentle towards your children. It gives them an affirmation that your love is pure and unconditional.

Usama bin Zaid says, Allah’s Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) put me on (one of) his thighs and put Hasan bin Ali on his other thigh, and then embrace us and say, « O Allah! Please be Merciful to them, as I am merciful to them. » [Bukhari]

Affectionate and gentle parents raise confident children.

« I have not seen anyone who resembled the Prophet s.a.w in terms of conduct, manners, and manners, more than Fatimah. » (Lady Aishah). « When the Prophet saw her coming, he would stand up, take her hand, kiss her, and bring her to sit in his place. When the Prophet s.a.w visited her, she would stand up, take his hand, kiss him and bring him to sit in her place.

[Sunan Al-Tirmizi]

4. Leniency

Parenting is challenging, but it can become more demanding if you don’t focus on self-development and personal growth. Attributes like leniency help you raise good kids; however, you must draw some boundaries for your children. Let children learn and grow at their pace; it’s okay to go for the easier way instead of complicating matters.

Hazrat Aisha (RA) once told: « Whenever Allah’s Apostle was given the choice of one of two matters, he would choose the easier of the two, as long as it was not sinful to do so, but if it were sinful to do so, he would not approach it… » [Sahih Bukhari]

In times like these, when children are growing up in a fast-paced and demanding world, it’s essential to let them make mistakes and learn from them. Learn to forgive more and teach them good and bad with love and kindness. Allah SWT, His Apostle (PBUH), and Sunnah encourage us to follow likewise.

The Final Apostle of Allah, peace be upon him, said: « Verily Allah has pardoned for me my ummah: their mistakes, forgetfulness, and they have been forced to do under duress. » [Sunan Ibn Majah]

5. Guidance

As a Muslim father, you are always at the forefront of teaching and guiding your child. You are mindful of his needs and offer your time and attention if he wants to learn something. He might also need you for correction and reassurance; however, your parenting guide should not sound like a lecture to him. Because in that case, your child will not learn much; instead, he will show resentment and inattentiveness.

Convey your message clearly, and concisely way rather than imposing your opinions. The former will be more effective for them.

5 Powerful Hadith on Parenting

• It is narrated from the Prophet (PBUH): « The person who has a child, should behave like a child with him. » It is also narrated by Hazrat Ali (KAW): « Anybody who has a child, should, for his/her training, bring themselves down to their level of childhood. »
• It is also narrated that a man once came to the Prophet (PBUH) and said: « I have never kissed my child. » The Prophet (PBUH) said: « Surely a man like this will be a resident of the fire of hell. »
• The Holy Prophet (peace be upon him) said: « Each of you is a shepherd and is responsible for his flock. The ruler is a shepherd and is responsible for his flock. A man is the shepherd of his family and is responsible for his flock. A woman is the shepherd of her husband’s household and is responsible for her flock. »

[Sahih Muslim]

• The Holy Prophet (peace be upon him) said: « Maintain justice among your children in gifts, just like you would like them to be just with you in goodness and affection. »

[Kanzul Ummal]

• The Holy Prophet (peace be upon him) said: « A Muslim whose three children die before puberty, Allah will grant Paradise due to his mercy for them. »

[Sahih Bukhari]

Role of a father: Influential Stories from the Qur’an

1. Develop a healthy relationship

Prophet Yaqoob (a.s.) had twelve sons, and he developed a healthy relationship with his children, especially Hazrat Yousuf (a.s.). They shared such a strong bond that Prophet Yousuf (a.s.) immediately shared it with his father when he saw a dream. His father, Prophet Yaqub (a.s.), patiently listened to his dream instead of judging or criticizing his son.

This incident conveys to us a message that the father-child healthy relationship helped them discuss an important matter. It was the trust and confidence that resulted in a smooth conversation. Surah Yousuf notes this event as,

“(It happened) when Yusuf said to his father, “My father, I saw (in the dream) eleven stars and the Sun and the Moon; I saw them all fallen prostrate before me.”

[12:4]

“He said, « O my son, do not relate your vision to your brothers, or they will contrive against you a plan. Indeed Satan, to man, is a manifest enemy.”

[Surah Yusuf 12:5]

2. Let your actions express your love for children

In Islamic history, we have an outstanding example of our Holy Prophet (PBUH), whose entire life was spent showing love and kindness to every human. Allah SWT loved his attributes of mercy and kindness so much that He awarded him the title of “mercy to all the worlds.” Surah Al-Anbiya addresses it as,

“And We have not sent you, [O Muhammad], except as a mercy to the worlds.”

[21:107]

The Beloved Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) always expressed respect and affection to children, especially his beloved daughter, Fatimah (peace be upon him). He had immense love and a profound bond with Lady Fatimah, who shared the same bond.

Lady Aishah (R.A) once narrated,

“I did not see anyone who more resembled the Messenger of Allah (PBUH) in speaking than Fatimah. When she came to him, he stood up for her, made her welcome, kissed her, and had her sit in his place. When the Prophet came to her, she stood up for him, took his hand, made him welcome, kissed him, and made him sit in her place. During his last illness, she came to him, and he greeted her and kissed her.”

[Al-Adab Al-Mufrad Book 42, Hadith 971]

This purest father-daughter bond became a standard for all relationships that will ever exist.

Key Takeaway

Having a rough moment or a rough hour is extremely tough, but don’t let those define your parenting perspective. Being a father is a challenging role, and there will be moments you don’t feel qualified for the position. Try not to let a rough patch define your fatherhood journey. These moments can feel like a failure, but we can see the growth and learning that helped us get through.⁣

It can help change your mindset from seeing mistakes as failures to seeing them as growth.